Addicted

Words. Words. Words. I LOVE words.  I love the 80s song Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield because he uses the word moot.  I don't know that I have ever successfully used the word moot in a sentence.  I love the book The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster for all of its fun wordplay and bringing alive so many figures of speech.  One of my all time favorite books is Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut Junior.  His words had me laughing out loud and yet stunned me at times with their poignancy that I just had to stop and soak them in.   This love affair with words also expends more of my energy as I overanalyze everything -conversations, emails, comments, body language.  I did not talk to very many guys through most of high school because I  thought there was always this ideal of  "the right words to say"  and I never had them.  Since verbal affirmation is my primary love language, words can not only bring raise me on the wings of joy and anticipation, they can also cut deeply into my heart. A verbal affirmation person gives and receives love and encouragement through the spoken word. My husband Evan  often says I married the wrong guy because giving compliments and encouragement is very hard for him to do.  Early in our marriage this was definitely a source of tension as we both struggled to know how to communicate love to each other.  Eighteen years of marriage comes with a deepness and commitment that often are not expressed through words anymore.  The five words that prompted this writing were said to me by Evan. It was Sunday morning and we were at church. I wish I could say I loved going to church.  I do love my church.  But going to church/Sunday mornings are completely different than being a part of a church community.  Going to church means getting everyone up, dressed, fed, and out the door on time.   This is something we do five days a week, usually with little problems. I don't know what happens on Sundays but ever since the kids were little, going to church usually means I am frazzled and in no mood for worship, let alone being around anyone.  This particular Sunday was no exception and I was not too happy because we were late. I HATE being late.  It was after the service and the kids were already in their Sunday school rooms. I had gone downstairs to use the bathroom and Evan was waiting for me to go to our class. I saw him through the crowd and he raised his eyebrows and smiled just a bit like he always does when he sees me.  As he approached me, he said, "I am addicted to you."  As we walked to our classroom, I FELT those words from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. 

Communitas

The smell of garlic wafted throughout the house, The marinara sauce bubbled on the stove, the spagetti rolled vigorously in the water, all signs that dinner was ready.  The sounds of laughter, conversations, and small boys making airplane noises all converged around the kitchen table. An eclectic group of people assembled around the large table, all living together and volunteering at the Kodiak Baptist Mission.   As dishes  were being passed and plates filled, a comment was made.  Eyebrows were raised and another comment was shot back.  Angry looks and tempers flared as the heated conversation continued between the two friends. Finally,  in an impulsive moment, one member of the community  threw spagetti across the table towards the other and stormed out of the kitchen and upstairs to her room.  We laugh at this treasured memory now but at the time it gave us all an opportunity to be about the business of living together, working out our differences, and forgiving.   Growth

The sound of the waves pounding the shore, the smell of tropical flowers and the salty sea, the sand between my toes, the rain on my skin, the rocky mountains meeting the sea….Every one of my senses  was awakened and I felt ALIVE!  I was sitting on the beach in Hawaii on January 1st, 2010. I listened. I prayed. I felt. I read.   I met with God in a very real way. I lifted my eyes towards the mountains and I felt His spirit flow over me. Verses from the Bible were emblazoned on my heart, my scripture for the year, given me to pray over all year long.   I allowed him to speak to my heart, to direct my path for the coming year.  And He did.    Being Known

 The tears filled my eyes as Rachel hugged me tighter.  There were no words to say.  I had miscarried and my heart was broken.  She held me, prayed for me, and her presence consoled me as I grieved.  Comfort

My hand hovered over the baby food jar.  At the signal, five women quickly opened the jars, and started spooning carrots,  peas, sweet potatoes into their mouths.  I grabbed my jar, put it to my mouth and chugged it back like a pro.  My team had won!   Survivor Mommy at our MOPS group in Seattle is a favorite of all. Even though my team did not win the overall Mommy Survivor, we all gave it our best shot. I treasure the time I spent at  MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers.  It is a wonderful time to share, laugh, cry, be challenged, and encourage each other as moms and to answer the calling God has placed upon us as moms.   Fellowship

I was one of those moms. I put my boys through an etiquette class to teach them some manners.   Maybe it was because they were too young. Maybe it is because they are boys, but since  those lessons did not sink in, we spend time at our meals teaching manners to my barbarians.  It's a long process.    In addition to that, each night we have dinner together as a family, we try to share our highs and lows of the day.  And, even though Joshua, my 13 year old son, always says his low is that I make him share a high and a low, we work on staying  connected as a family.  Edification

The gate creaked open. The greeting party immediately checked out the newcomer with wagging tails and sniffing, lots of sniffing.  Once the formalities are over, Amber, my German shepherd mix puppy, joins in playing, wrestling, and  chasing all the dogs at the Highbridge Dog Park.  She loves it there. After a few visits, I was familiar with the rules, both written and unwritten, and tried to be a responsible dog owner.    I just had to laugh at this community I was now a part of.  Sometimes we  stand in groups talking about dogs, laugh at their antics, or discuss what needs to be done around the park . I know  many dogs by name and only the humans  as "Hugo's owner" but it is a great opportunity to love on the people of Spokane.  Outreach

Alaska.  The name just exudes adventure. I was eighteen and headed to do a summer mission at a residential camp  on a small island off of Kodiak Island.  Little did I know then that I would be swept off my feet by my Alaskan Prince Charming.  He was the first guy I felt I could completely be myself around and it didn't take long to fall in love.  When I first met Evan, I didn't think it was possible to love someone more than I loved him.  After 18 years of marriage, three kids, and definitely our share of bumps along the journey, I know it is possible to have a love that is deeper, passionate, and constant.  Intimacy

The evening service at our church is called Communitas.  Communitas is a latin word that means community with a purpose.  The examples of communities I've described continue to live with me, setting a foundation stone by stone, deepening each relationship I have.  Each aspect of community provides a purpose and builds me towards wholeness. I am made complete each time I decide to enter into Communitas with those people God has called into my life.   I am being built into the person God has called me to be.   The stones of growth, being known, comfort, fellowship, edification, outreach, and intimacy are just some of the building blocks.  There are many more for me to discover as I continue to seek out and find Communitas.