Addicted

Words. Words. Words. I LOVE words.  I love the 80s song Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield because he uses the word moot.  I don't know that I have ever successfully used the word moot in a sentence.  I love the book The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster for all of its fun wordplay and bringing alive so many figures of speech.  One of my all time favorite books is Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut Junior.  His words had me laughing out loud and yet stunned me at times with their poignancy that I just had to stop and soak them in.   This love affair with words also expends more of my energy as I overanalyze everything -conversations, emails, comments, body language.  I did not talk to very many guys through most of high school because I  thought there was always this ideal of  "the right words to say"  and I never had them.  Since verbal affirmation is my primary love language, words can not only bring raise me on the wings of joy and anticipation, they can also cut deeply into my heart. A verbal affirmation person gives and receives love and encouragement through the spoken word. My husband Evan  often says I married the wrong guy because giving compliments and encouragement is very hard for him to do.  Early in our marriage this was definitely a source of tension as we both struggled to know how to communicate love to each other.  Eighteen years of marriage comes with a deepness and commitment that often are not expressed through words anymore.  The five words that prompted this writing were said to me by Evan. It was Sunday morning and we were at church. I wish I could say I loved going to church.  I do love my church.  But going to church/Sunday mornings are completely different than being a part of a church community.  Going to church means getting everyone up, dressed, fed, and out the door on time.   This is something we do five days a week, usually with little problems. I don't know what happens on Sundays but ever since the kids were little, going to church usually means I am frazzled and in no mood for worship, let alone being around anyone.  This particular Sunday was no exception and I was not too happy because we were late. I HATE being late.  It was after the service and the kids were already in their Sunday school rooms. I had gone downstairs to use the bathroom and Evan was waiting for me to go to our class. I saw him through the crowd and he raised his eyebrows and smiled just a bit like he always does when he sees me.  As he approached me, he said, "I am addicted to you."  As we walked to our classroom, I FELT those words from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes.